General Election a la Akademi Fantasia

You know, many of us refer to Malaysia as Boleh!-Land, where everything are Boleh! (possible), no matter how silly it sounds. Like making teh tarik in zero gravity (YB, somebody in your department DID say that), or sending Mat Rempits for a sky-diving expedition to the North Pole (or was it South Pole? I'm sure it's not the Flesh Pole, though).

So here I would like to propose another novel idea to the Government: General Election a la Akademi Fantasia. If you have no idea what I'm talking about,let me explain further.

Akademi Fantasia (AF) is one of the biggest craze in Malaysia. Everyone, regardless of their age or race (except for the sane ones), are hooked to the programme (ESPECIALLY Malays). Whenever the event is aired, the audiences, no matter where they are, are sitting at the edge of their seats. AF uses an SMS-based voting system as well as a fixed-line call voting system for the audiences to decide who gets to stay, and who gets to go. And these AF-maniacs are willing to spend on their airtime credits just to keep their idols on the stage.

Let's talk about the Parliament now. Read this article, for it has all the relevance to my proposal:

Put them on camera

ALONG THE WATCHTOWER

By M.VEERA PANDIYAN

Live coverage of Parliament debates may make errant MPs behave better.

IF IT’S always going to be a circus, watching it live would be more entertaining. The frolics of the clowns alone might provide more amusement than the shows on television these days.

Hats off to Kalabakan MP Datuk Abdul Ghapur Salleh for one of the better suggestions to come from a backbencher in the Dewan Rakyat recently.

“Let’s telecast the debates live on TV so that the MPs will behave,” he proposed last week, noting that parts of parliamentary debates – including the trading of harsh words and insults – were already being screened on some news segments.

But a spoilsport in the form of Deputy Information Minister Datuk Ahmad Zahid Hamidi threw cold water on the idea, giving the most cockamamie of excuses. He said no on the grounds that RTM would disallow lucah (obscene) words to be aired.

“Some quarters, including the opposition, are recording debates as well as heated arguments onto CDs and distributing them. My advice is we should behave ourselves in the House,” he said.

Isn’t that precisely the point? If MPs who use vulgar language and behave like thugs realise that their words and antics would be seen by all and sundry, might they not want to mend their ways?

Live coverage could also help identify the silent Yang Berhormats (The Honourable) who just warm their seats in Parliament, not to mention those who use the august hall as a convenient place for their afternoon naps.

Of course, viewer ratings for live TV coverage of parliamentary proceedings would be a long way off from shows like Akademi Fantasia, as much of it would feature soporific speeches.

But boring or not, voters shouldn’t be deprived of watching how their elected representatives perform where it really matters. After all they pay these YBs’ tax-free salaries, fat allowances and life-long pensions.

With cameras focused on them, would MPs still go for the burlesque? You know, like cracking crude, sexist “bocor” (leakage) jokes, getting all hot and bothered by scantily clad Super GT models, or stewing over the “sexy” uniforms of Malaysian Airlines stewardesses.

Just imagine watching the dramas unfold in Parliament, with close-ups of the faces of the rankled MPs raising such matters of utmost importance to the nation.

If opinions are based merely on newspaper reports, Malaysians can’t be faulted for thinking that many of our MPs are preoccupied with jaga tepi kain (monitoring hemlines) instead of jaga kepentingan rakyat (looking after the peoples’ interests).

Whether they accept it or not, the general perception is our MPs dwell too much on trivial matters instead of focusing on the real issues affecting the country.

Surely, there are enough compelling subjects for them to get agitated over. Here’s a small sampling: corruption, weaknesses in the education system, rising levels of crime, drug abuse, disregard for rule of law and gross misuse and wastage of public funds.

Wouldn’t it be a welcome change to see backbenchers grandstanding before the cameras, getting riled up over corruption in high places, or demanding clarification over claims of police-crime links?

If and when that happens, who knows, voters might be tempted to do something special for them, perhaps even wear T-shirts proclaiming: “I am YB So & So’s constituent ... And proud of it!”

Most of us, however, would be content to just see our MPs argue their cases against opponents intelligently and rationally, not display spoilt-brat temper tantrums or frenzied screaming of un-parliamentary terms like the recent outbursts of Bodoh! Bodoh! Bodoh!” (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!)

But then again, with politics being such a bizarre realm, Malaysians too might eventually warm up to such behaviour, as in the case of Taiwan where brawling and unruly behaviour have become the norm in Parliament.

Apparently, voters on the island expect their representatives to fight hard on issues – both verbally and physically. To get maximum media coverage and support back home, legislators plan their showdown strategy to the extent of choreographing the pushes, shoves and fisticuffs.

In the end, it’s all about our level of acceptance. As long as we choose to allow errant MPs to remain unaccountable for their words and misdeeds, we shouldn't expect things to get any better.

Within the walls of the Dewan Rakyat, however, the onus is on Speaker Tan Sri Ramli Ngah Talib and his deputies, Datuk Lim Si Cheng and Datuk Dr Yusof Yacob, to draw the line on unacceptable conduct.

They ought to wield their gavels more resolutely against misbehaving members, irrespective of party allegiances. They must hammer home the importance of maintaining the decorum and dignity of the House.

M. Veera Pandiyan Deputy Editor, New Media, a taxpayer who has voted in the past six general elections, has always been observing what MPs say and do in and out of Parliament.

Sounds similar to Akademi Fantasia, isn't it? Except that one is to find an idol, and another is to find a working Member of Parliament/YB.

Okay, many people (including my Abah) thinks that it is not possible to have the General Election a la Akademi Fantasia. But hey, this is Boleh!-Land. Nothing is not possible. And here are my rationale as to why it is possible:

1. Everyone has to register their handphone number(s), and one of the required documents for the registration is your Identification Documents (either passport, birth certificate, or MyKad). Coincidently, one Government department holds the same information, which is the National Registration Department. So all we need to do is link, connect and merge the database so that we can do a cross-match between the identification number and the handphone number. For each identification number (not handphone number), only 1 (ONE) vote can be casted. Here's an example; I have 2 numbers, a Maxis and a Digi number. I vote via SMS with my Digi number. The system will match my Digi number with my MyKad number. It will then mark me as "Already Voted". If I try to vote again with my Maxis number, the system will again match my MyKad number with my Maxis number, found that I have voted with another number (Digi), and send me an error message ("Have Already Voted").
   
2. A good thing about having a joint-database is that you can create a system where all the citizens who are eligible to vote can be automatically registered as voters. And that solves the problem of citizens who refused to register as voters.
3. Now, we do have some stubborn geniuses who refused to register their handphone number(s) for whatever reasons there are. When they try to vote, they will get an error message ("Number Not Exist" or something).
4. To protect the legitimacy of identity of the voters (in case their fancy handphones were stolen, or their children one day thought that they could select a better leader compared to their parents), we can assign a PIN number for security purposes.

Discussions with my mom suggested that with all these 4 reasonings, there should be no problem to implement the system. So how do we vote? First and foremost, here's the format:

GEUNDI<>ID number/PIN<>PAR/DU<>Candidate's Code

Explanation:
GEUNDI - General Election UNDI
<> - Space
ID number/PIN - PIN number
PAR - Parlimen
DU - Dewan Undangan
Candidate's Code - Code assigned to election candidates. Available from the Election Commission website.

Send to 725524 (PAKLAH).

Easy, isn't it? So, Pak Lah, shall we go on with this system? If it's a YES, please reward me handsomely. I need all the money to pay for my PTPTN loans, friends' loan, PAMA (papa and mama) loans, and get my journalism and writing career started.